I Am Partly Qualified To Be A Senior Intelligence Officer!

Not only do I own this particular requirement, but I love the sense of humor required to create this job listing’s structure:
New Zealand Explosive Ordnance Disposal Squadron (1 NZ EOD Sqn) is seeking to appoint a Senior Intelligence Officer with responsibility for liaising with other NZDF, Government and international intelligence, security and technical agencies and [...]

Read Full Post »

Fun With Travel Insurance

Travel insurance policies are insane. Take the following clause, for example:
“…the policy does not cover loss caused by: (a) suicide, or attempted suicide, or intentionally self-inflicted Injury or any attempt at intentionally self-inflicted Injury by the Insured, Immediate Family Member, Traveling Companion or Business Partner (while sane, in Colorado and Missouri);
Let’s take some valium and [...]

Read Full Post »

Book Report: Come On Shore And We Will Kill And Eat You All—A New Zealand Story

Ok, so I haven’t written a book report since the second grade. I kinda forgot what goes into one, so I asked people and the internet, and I settled on what I think is a traditional format. Of course, like any good student, I first searched an academic paper service to see if anyone else [...]

Read Full Post »

Life Takes Visas

Well hello there, new passport. Glad to see you so soon. Your two-week turnaround made me appreciate our expensive little government just a bit more. Expected month-long wait? Oh, National Passport Center, you tease! Anyway, now that I can prove my identity again, I finally secured my visas for Australia and New Zealand. But I [...]

Read Full Post »

HOLY SHIT, I HAVE PLANE TICKETS!

Okkkkaaay, so this is actually happening. It’s not a crazy Carey plan anymore. Actual money has been exchanged for actual tickets. So will I be sipping on apertifs with the Emirates? Running from a Jew-hungry mob in Dubai? Answers, inside.

Read Full Post »

In Which I Secure My Livelihoop

Me: Any objection to me blogging from New Zealand?Boss: Absolutely not.

Edit: Not so much.

Read Full Post »

Meet The Emirates

Listen ocean, you ain’t nothing of an obstacle compared to airfare. Qantas and Air New Zealand want oodles of cash to fly me over, and I don’t want to pay. Air New Zealand wants me to take United to LAX. United? Please. I don’t want to fly halfway around the world on an American carrier. [...]

Read Full Post »

Ugh, New Passport

I hate the new passports with the embedded RFID chips. RFID, of course, is short for Ridiculously !@#$% Insecure. Our beloved State Department has crammed the electronic parasites into every passport spawned since 2007, and I really thought my good-till-09 passport was up for one last hurrah. Nope!

Read Full Post »