More Practical Exercises In Comparison

First, things we could do to realize New Zealand 2018:

Second, things we would apparently prefer to do instead:

Weka On The Lam In Christchurch

As part of a misguided attempt at urban beautification, five Weka have been brought to downtown Christchurch. The Department of Conservation isn’t yet sure which of the notoriously creative Kiwis uprooted the World’s Most Fantastic Creatures, but they’re not at all amused with unexpected interpretation of the Muppets Take Manhattan. Three of the Wekas have been captured, but two of the endlessly curious smile-makers unfortunately discovered cars.

“If you released a bird like that in the middle of the city that’s exactly what’s going to happen…the bird’s going to get run over. They’re car fodder,” explained ranger Anita Spencer.

Perhaps the only good thing to come of the incident—other than South Islanders having an excuse to point and shout “Weka!”—is the Stuff caption: “RUN WEKA RUN: A weka is on the lam in Christchurch.”

Weka on the loose in Christchurch [Suff]

There Are Days I’m Just So Proud Of New Zealand

A short selection from the Waikato Times, best read slowly and out loud:

Two Cambridge mates say they may turn their unusual method of trimming hedges into a business, after they suspended a ride-on mower from a crane to do the job.

“This is how the Waikato boys mow a hedge,” the ride-on mower operator told the Waikato Times.

The operator, who did not want to be named, is now nursing a broken hand, but said it wasn’t a fall from the mower that caused the injury but one off the crane.

He admitted it was not the safest method of trimming the hedge, but said it was all done as a bit of a joke.

They wanted to film the stunt, put it on the internet and see how many hits it got, but in the end had no video camera.

The unusual sight bemused passing motorists. One passer-by, Bart Dinger, said it was a classic case of Kiwi ingenuity.

“A kiwi classic – jandals and all,” he said.

Book Report: Anthony Trollope’s Australia and New Zealand

Anthony Trollope is one of my favorite classic British authors, so naturally I was surprised to learn that he, without my knowledge, wrote a book about his travels in Australia and New Zealand. His son apparently worked in Australia’s gold fields, so Tony packed up his things and the missus and went for a visit—no short boat ride in the 19th century. The trip took over a year and a half, but from it came a striking account of his travels that captures New Zealand’s infant spirit. The book is available in full thanks to Google, but for anyone who doesn’t want to read 200 pages of computerized text, I’ve pulled out a few select quotes…

Welcome Home, The Q & A

Question: First of all, welcome home! It sounds like you had quite the adventure coming home. What happened?
Answer: Well as you know, Qantas canceled the return leg of our flight. Not the entire flight, mind you, just the leg from LAX to JFK. So instead of staying with Qantas the whole time, we had to transfer to American for the final leg, which is the worst possible way to chase a transpacific flight.

Q: Ha, I know! But you did make it back in one piece, right?
A: Kinda. Jeff learned a small but important lesson: do not joke with baggage handlers. They will smile, they will laugh, but they have no sense of humor. They will send your bags back on a different carrier, and you won’t see them again for two days.

Q: Yeesh, what a nightmare! So tell us, how does it feel to be back?

Don’t Run Away Yet

Coming back (I hesitate to say “home”) is tougher than I imagined, and I may end up using this space to vent. Or not. You know how blogs go…

Surprise!